Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Tuesday, 29 August 2017

Tuesday

Good evening peeps,

Tired and aching and nearly ready for bed. Here's something that is making me smile to hear it again, I was looking for a good version and this will do: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Be3BZeoqs3Y
If you want to think about  antecedent and consequent this is a good piece for that.

Well last night I had a bad night. Upsets over Welby and his rubbish. It was a bad night to have a bad night, with Monday's work always being the heaviest, and bank holiday making monday's work today's work.
And worse, with the forecast today in the high 20s, I wanted to start and finish early.
No chance of that after the bad night. I couldn't wake up to the early alarms because I had finally got into a deeper sleep.
So as it was, I woke at 7.50, and work normally starts at 8.30!

At least everything was ready for work, apart from the mower. So off I shot, and because I was working alone today, it didn't matter what time I arrived as long as I remained within our sub-contract framework of times and hours and work, which of course I did. 8.30 is a guideline that comes from the estate work.

It was strange to do a monday without my mate, but I worked steadily despite the heat, the fact that there was cloud some of the time helped me.
I didn't slack, I mowed, weeded, trimmed, and most of all I used the heavy hedgecutters to do the long hedges. Usually my mate's job, but there I was, showing the miracle of full recovery of my career and strength and I swung that hedgecutter above my head and ached but never faltered as sweat soaked my light cotton work clothes.

It was a good day's work despite the bad night, and I had plenty to eat and drink. The sea was flat calm and many craft were out, and people on the front watched in amazement as I did my workmates job of the long hedges.

I was glad to get home to supper, shower, Hollyoaks, and my massage machines, which are proving miraculous, I feel liberated because I can work to full strength again now as long as I put the massage machine on my shoulders and neck when I get home. It doesn't take away the normal ache and tiredness of hard physical work, but it means I won't be in agony any more, well, hopefully.

Over the weekend I read 'Altar Boy', a very insightful book about how abuse by a Catholic clergyman affected a young man's life and relationships. It made so much sense to me, as his sexuality and relationships seemed affected in a similar way to mine, and his insights into what went wrong and how the Catholic church failed to safeguard, made so much sense. When I finished that book I started the one I am on, which is called 'Mother's Ruin' about a girl who grew up with an alcoholic mother.

Tomorrow is due heavy rain so I may be rained off, rats! Oh well, hopefully my DVD of 'The Cuckoo' will arrive, the Russian Film that saved me and turned me from suicide and back towards life in 2012. I will recount all that to you again one day. I am looking forward to watching the DVD again.




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