Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Saturday, 11 May 2013

repost of sanctuary


Looking for you:

I walked down by the water
Where you walked every morning and evening
But you weren’t there
Not leaning on your stick or walking slowly

I walked in the early morning 
The sunshine reflecting on the empty street
That you used to stop and gaze at
But I was alone

I lay on the cold ground
Where you lay looking at the stars 
And sucking your thumb for comfort
But the night around me was silent and empty

I looked up at the railway arches
The line that you loved so well
A train passed but you weren’t on it
And I knew you had gone

I wondered what it was like
When God told you 
That you had come home to die
Alone and broken

And I wondered
If I was mistaken
And if you would walk round that corner
So I waited

And I remembered how you said you were happy
Just to be here and walk quietly
In the end
When your last great journey had finished
And you were waiting
For this day
You asked me to 
Put your ashes on Sanctuary’s shore
The place that was a guide and compass to you
A place that you called home

And then I remembered how you said
You would always be here
You lived and died here on your railway line by sanctuary’s shore
And you are here in the memories and the distant cries

When love is this deep
Not even death can remove it
And here you are in the air and the sea
A spirit of ice crystals and fire embers
Spinning through the wild night with joy

Alive with fire and joy
Just as you were 
When you ran here
Long years ago 
The wind and the sea the cold and the laughter
Before the eternal darkness

Still as I walk I know you are here
The shattered human being is gone
And the spirit is free
No longer loveless and lonely and condemned
But safe on Sanctuary’s shore forever

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