Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Good morning peeps,
well, I don't know about good, mornings should be abolished, I only get up because I am a rough sleeper.
:( emo.

Anyway, yesterday I went to see my psychologist.
He said he is concerned at the level of trauma that I have suffered in the past and how I am being re-traumatized by the church matter, so he is going to continue to work with me and he also wants to see about referring me for EMDR, which is a trauma therapy, EMDR is hard to get, I have tried to get EMDR for myself before, especially since I came back to the UK.
Anyway, I talked to the psychologist about my fear of people, it is really helpful to talk to get insight into why  I do things and how to work towards solutions.

Anyway, after psychology I managed to get a train home, often I have to wait until after Friday rush hour as the trains are packed, but I got a seat and had a reasonably comfortable journey, but I had to stand the last part of the journey after I changed train.

It was a relief to get back to sanctuary.
I went to the library until it closed, and then went to the church, the church people were doing choir practice and they let me in and the vicar came along with some milk and biscuits so that I could make myself tea in the church kitchen, bless him.

I had a wash and washed my hair in the church toilet and changed my clothes and sorted my backpack out.
Then I sat with my computer, and also charged my phone as I had stupidly let the battery go dead.
When the choir went home I went for a walk, it started raining heavily but it was only showers and not forecast, and by the time I was tired and cold enough to bed down it was still raining a bit and my bedding was getting damp and I was getting cold, but I decided the best thing to do was get into my blanket pile and be dry and warm up, so I did.

I slept but was sleeping lightly, too cold and tense, at midnight I got up, went to the loo, and bedded down again and was warm and comfy, the rain had long since stopped and I slept like I was dead.
I woke when my alarms went off, knowing I should get up as there would be people areound later, but I didn't want to get up and face the world, eventually I did, and came straight to the coffee shop.
I need to persuade some breakfast down in a minute :(

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