Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Friday 10 May 2013

Let me have my name back

Let me have my name back now
not the one you dragged through the shame and horror
and took from me
not that name
that name and it's owner died

my name that made me safe from you
that name that made the bad go
that made the cold brute Jane Fisher go
and gave me back my life

my real name
chosen by me
that I smiled at when called
my own name

safe from the horror of my childhood
and the even greater horror
of the church of england in their wickedness
my new name that they did not know
and couldn't blacken

now I can have my name back
and the horror is over
but it will never be over
until I am allowed to die

they traced me and took my new name from me
and destroyed me again
and tried to change my name back to 
the one they destroyed

it's getting late
it's getting dark
I have waited for so long
for names and life and what has been forced on me
to end, to go, and for God 
to allow my death

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