This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

Monday, 6 July 2015

Monday evening

Good evening,

Well I have had a quiet day, no beach, just too tired, although the weather has been glorious.
I have done some washing, done some housework. Done some paperwork and letters.

The cat has forgiven being frontlined and spent some time bashing his head cheerfully against my leg, he is quite happy.

I went and got some groceries, watched my programmes, and I will do some music.
I am missing the blue bike terribly, but it is booked in to the good bike shop for tomorrow.

I am not doing the papers tomorrow I will resume when the bike is back on the road, but it is just as well as rain is forecast in the morning.

Monday afternoon

Good afternoon peeps,

Again the stats are high. I am not doing anything extraordinary, although I am sure I can think of something for your entertainment! :) As you can imagine.

I slept reasonably well last night, despite the return of the hot weather.
I woke this morning to a quiet house, my housemate is away and I am not doing the paper round until the bike is fixed tomorrow, so it will be wednesday before I return to my round :( it is financial loss to me, however small, so I am not chuffed. I just took the faulty trolley back to the shop and then went and got a load of cleaning products, I wish my housemate would chip in as I do all  the cleaning and buy the products and she doesn't do a thing.

Anyway, I have been doing my ledger and trying to deal with HMRC this morning. They are a pain in the behind.

I was due to work this afternoon but I am very tired, and my customer has been offered a full day's work from me later in the week as there is so much to do, so I may well spend the afternoon on paperwork, letters and music studies, and housework!

It is a mild but cloudy day, and I am much too tired to swim in the sea. I think working in the heat after having a virus was a bit too much for me.

I frontlined the cat, usually he comes back and claws my leg for it, cos he aint stoopid, but this time he just ignored me. He may claw my leg later.
He still goes mental about chasing the rosary round the room, but he is getting older and slowing up a bit.
Did I tell you all the jokes me and mum made about cat-echism, and cat-olics and you-cat because of him chasing the rosary?

Sunday, 5 July 2015

Sunday evening

Good evening,

Well I watched 'Parent Trap' earlier and fell asleep.
Woke up in time to miss the beginning of 'Humans' so I watched it and then caught up the beginning on 4+1.

The cat is wandering around, being a teeny monster. My housemate has gone for a few days holiday. So I can clean the house if I want to.

No bike yet, so I am not doing the newsround tomorrow, which is OK as I am tired from working in the sun this week.

The blog stats are still quite high, why? Have I said something?

I forgot to explain something, due to the bike breaking, the shop lent me a trolley to do the heavy Saturday papers, which was a relief from carrying them, although the walking was too much for me, and guess what? The wheel fell off the trolley! Hence having a few days off until I get the bike sorted.
I am not walking well at all and it is so painful, I need to get more help and advice, basically I will never walk easily and always with pain if  increase my walking, so doing my 70 mile sponsored walk each year is happy madness.
I have physio each week and that is mainly focussing on re-tracking my knee and getting the tendons in my legs to work, but not dealing with the pain. The pain and damage are forever, and I am only young, I won't dwell on that, I will just thank God that I can walk.

The other thing I am sure I forgot to say is, I got my prescription exemption certificate a few days ago, and came home from the pharmacy with huge bags of meds :) They are so nice at the pharmacy too, they have been so helpful in trying to keep me in meds when I couldn't afford them.

Sunday lunchtime

Hey peeps,

I am tired but am off work until tomorrow afternoon, phew! including the paper round.
But, the blue bike is still out of action :(
The weather is cooler with some rain.

Friday, 3 July 2015

Friday night

Good evening peeps,

Well I have worked hard in the hot sun again, it is not good for me but I have survived well.
Unfortunately, the blue bike hasn't.

The blue bike was being a work bike, and firstly that chronic gear and chain problem kicked in, then the blue bike got a puncture.
So I have not been back from work long, I am tired, not sure how I am going to manage the heavy Saturday papers without a bike, or the weekend's work. I am very dependent on the blue bike.

The cat didn't seem too hungry when I got home, maybe someone else remembered to feed him, ye gods! did my housemate actually realise that the cat needed hand feeding?! :) I never got round to leaving her a note due to just being too preoccupied with illness and work.
I hardly see her as we work our different shifts and live very different lives.
The weather is still very warm even at night, and the cat is sitting on the patio, looking like a teeny monster :)

I must go to bed now as I will have to be up really early to try and sort out what to do without the blue bike, I can't fix the puncture and even if I did, the gears and chain are really in a bad way.
They had been heading that way, but the bike shop has been too busy and so have I.
Lesson learned?

The stats on this blog have risen so much that I am trying to work out what I am telling you that you find so interesting.
You know how I worry that it is the diocese waiting for news that their police have pounced, knocked me senseless and removed evidence of their abuse of me and taken my credibility again by making me out to be mad, it has happened enough times.

Friday morning

Good morning peeps,

If you are not a peep, maybe you are on the wrong page :)

Well yesterday I managed to do some work, and make myself ill by doing so.
I got home late and there were loud indignant meows from the shed. At first I thought I had startled the cat, but actually he was just reminding me that his feeder is broken and I have to feed him, so he got his meal a bit late but was very grateful and purry.

I thought I would be very ill today, but I woke as normal and went and did the round with all the heavy local papers. Then I went to the shop and got some food and my paper.

Then I did bacon and eggs.

I am tired and it is still hot, I can't go to work yet, I did consider a day off again but if the post arrives soon, I will go to work.

Thursday, 2 July 2015

Thursday morning

Good morning,

Well yesterday was a hot day, I am sure you all know that. The daily express headlines are the usual drama queen rubbish about the weather, what is it with them, do they have a reporter who is just mental about the weather?

Anyway, I was still not well yesterday, getting better but not well, and with the heat so intense, I wasn't going to work.

So I stayed at home and got on with paperwork and music.

I went to the beach twice to play in the water, the waves were big and good to jump, but I used up too much energy.

I watched my programmes in the evening, and was so tired that I went to bed at about 8.30.
I woke at 11pm, needed the loo, then I had a massive allergic thing, I couldn't stop coughing, it wasn't chest infection it was an asthma allergy cough, I had this on Monday although not as bad.
This time it was really bad, I took inhalers and antihistamines and closed the window but I couldn't work out what I had reacted to, as everything was as normal in my room. I was coughing in my sleep.

But I woke this morning feeling quite comfy despite being raw from coughing, I was actually feeling a bit better at last.

I went out delivering papers, it is a grey overcast day, with mist and low cloud over the hills and sea, and thunderstorms expected, which isn't ideal as I am hoping to get on with some work and can't do that until later.

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Wednesday morning

Good morning,

well, I went to bed at 8.30pm but was having flashbacks and bad dreams and distress about the diocese during the night, but the cat was sleeping peacefully on the bed, but he decided to have a major ear-scratching session at about 3am, so I poked him with my foot and he objected and decided to go out.

I had to get up in the night and take meds, and I woke this morning still feeling dreadful, it was so hard to get up and get out on the round, so it was 7am by the time I got out, and it was already hot.

The sea was putting on all it's best waves for the admiring grockles, but I was so hot and tired, I managed to get the round done but I am so hot and so ill.
There is no way this isn't going to end in a thunderstorm, we will have a thunderstorm, I know it :)

Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Tuesday evening

Good evening,

Well I was a bit useless earlier, I tried to go back to bed, and I was exhausted but I couldn't sleep.
I got on with my music and made good progress.
And eventually I went to the beach, wandered about in the water and lay on the beach, too tired to go anywhere, and yes I did have my sun cream.

Eventually I came home, washed the beach clothes and sat in the garden doing my music studies.
Then I have watched my programmes.

I am glad I wasn't working today, it has been so hot. I don't do well with hot weather and work.
I am so tired that I will go to bed soon, although I will probably wake during the night as a result.

I did a nice salad with eggs and potatos for supper, so good that I will have the same again tomorrow :)

Tuesday morning

Good morning peeps,

Well yesterday I did some work here as I waited for a delivery, then I got the message that the delivery was delayed to today or tomorrow and I could leave a note.
I was all confused about various appointments and meetings as well.

At lunchtime I grilled some lean meat, then I went to the beach for a quick dip.

When I got back I was tired and had to rest.
Then my friend collected me and I did some garden clearance.

Then I got on with my music and other studies and watched my programmes.

I went to bed at 8pm, absolutely exhausted, and pretty much slept through the night.

I woke this morning and did my papers, but I have no energy.
I got back and did bacon and eggs and had a shower.

Then I biked and posted a letter, visited a nice family who have 2 dogs, 1 tortoise and some fish, the tortoise was wandering up the garden, grumbling to itself about home insulation and hot weather.
Tortoises are amazing.

Then I went to physio, and they exclaimed that I should be in bed and I should ease of the work and the exercises and rest, they sent me home, and they are right. I only had three hours work booked today and I have postponed that.

It is a roaring sunny day, everything is enhanced by the sunshine and blue sky, especially the hills, but I am in my bedroom and am going back to bed :( No beach, no swim, no energy.

And to make it all worse, my University prep course site is down so I can't work on my studies while I am supposed to be in bed and am not, I have tried to be in bed, but I am not programmed to do all this horrible resting during the day. I can do some music, I guess.

My gay friend wants to cuddle me, that is nice isn't it? I am not being prejudiced but gay men are so sensetive and such good company. Now don't start on me about being prejudiced, please. Safe cuddles are good when you feel safe and comfortable with someone. I rarely do any physical contact at all, and never unless I feel safe.

Monday, 29 June 2015

Monday morning

Good morning,

Well yesterday I did a good roast dinner but was too ill to really enjoy it.
In the evening I watched 'Humans' and wrote a letter.
I had another restless night with nightmares.
I woke feeling too ill to do the round, but I did it anyway.

The sea is calm in the morning sunshine and there were already grockles out on the front, exclaiming with their usual ignorant knowledge, about the bay.

I will be home this morning, waiting for a delivery, and doing some gardening and paperwork, then I have some work this afternoon and hope to look at a garden as well.

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Sunday evening

Good evening,

Well I did the papers this morning, came home and started feeling ill again.
I went out to work.
I felt tired and ill but I managed a few hours work, including fixing the faulty mower where I was working.
This was with my new gardens.

I have simply been at home ill today.
I slept but I dreamed a lot. Some upsetting dreams.

Now I am awake, still ill.
I am gonna write a letter to a friend.

The weather has remained grey and cloudy, but it is due to be scorching sunshine for a few days, not ideal for my work.

I must get my working week in order.

I am so ill but I am not programmed to sleep or rest during the day and I am hating having to do that.

Humans is on later on 4, did anyone else see the trailers for it and think 'That looks interesting'?

Sunday morning

Good morning,

Well, thank you for the new interest in the blogs, the stats are good.

Last night I felt OK about staying up to watch Kickass and do paperwork.
I had to work out my gross income and expenses since I became self-employed.

Then I got into my nice comfy bed with it's clean linens and I slept a reasonably peaceful night, I woke a few times with crazy dreams but not nightmares and I woke feeling not too bad this morning.

The day started cloudy, and the sea was messy, while a cloud of what looked like pollution, hung over the Great Hill.
I got the papers out, the Sunday round isn't too bad.

I got my paper round wages, so I went to the shop on the way home and got some food and things, I got bacon and eggs because I have been missing my weekend bacon and eggs recently.

So I did bacon and eggs for me, and the cat got a handful of Dreamies, because he likes them. He is lazing on the patio now the sun is out.
I have also prepared the potatos for lunch, peeled, and soaked in garlic and herbs and boiling water.
When I get home from work I will put them in the microwave and then drain them and put them in the oven.

I have plenty of time for a shower before going to work for an hour or two, and then I think I will have  a quiet day here, doing some studying, I am feeling a lot  better but not really up to hog roasts or welfare meals. I need quiet time.

The headlines in the papers this morning were to do with the massacre in Tunisia, especially about a 16 year old British lad who's family was gunned down and he was injured but he went to help other survivors. Wow! I guess he was celebrating the end of school and enjoying a holiday after his exams, what an awful thing to happen to his holiday! :(

I wanna abseil off the Shard, anyone else want to? :) I could earn some cash by cleaning the windows on the way.
Hm, no more bonbons.

Saturday, 27 June 2015

Saturday evening

Good evening,

Well despite feeling really ill this morning and after a bad night, I at least went to assess the new offers of work. And because I have now been off sick for three days and my working week is Monday-Saturday, I agreed to do a little bit of work on a new garden tomorrow morning. This is also because I only have two days to get gardens done in the coming week before I am working away from home for two to four days again.

Anyway, I felt tired and sick but I biked home along the cliffs, watching hopefully for the first sails of the regatta that I would have taken part in if I had not been ill.
And I was in luck, the first sail came storming round with a good lead, spinnaker flying.
It was a hot sunny day and I felt content to freewheel off the cliff path and back down the hill to my home.

Resting is not my strong point, so after reading for a while and putting the linens on to wash, I biked slowly down to the beach and wandered into the cool, soothing sea.
Then I sat quietly and watched the sails.

When I came home, I hung the linens out, and decided it was high time a BBQ happened, and because I was alone, I just did a little BBQ, I did some sausages and burgers, with ketchup and salad, bread, and I had a huge jug of barley water and I sat on the bench in the sun and read my book, very nice, and also a gold star because actually planning and doing a BBQ was on my challenge list, I know I can do BBQs but they take co-ordination and time.

After that, I did all the housework, everything that usually gets left until Sunday, and I am too stupid to rest when I am ill, even if I cannot do a professional job for my business customers, I can go mental with things at home without damaging anyone but me.

Anyway, so spotless house, then it is paperwork time! And at last my student finance paperwork is done!
And ledger, expenses and all sorts of other stuff.
Plus the bed is made up in clean linens. I hope I sleep better tonight, pain and fever and nightmares have become a habit and although I am doing a lot, I am still ill.

But, I have also been watching Kick-Ass, the film that reminds me so much of Jersey.

Bed time soon, I am allowed to stay up and see the end of kickass, doesn't happen often but maybe I will be tired enough for deep sleep.

It has been a sunny day.

Tomorrow's paper round is not too bad although the papers are big, there are less houses on the Sunday round.
And then an hour or so of gardening and then a normal day.
Car boot sales, joining my mates at a hog roast on the beach if I feel up to it (unlikely) or even going to welfare and getting a pat on the head and some tasty food.

Saturday morning

Good morning,

Well I dozed off again last night, and woke a few hours later, boiling hot after being too cold, and having had nightmares again, the death, ghosts and monsters type.

I did everything I could to cool down and stop the flashbacks and then I slept again.

I woke this morning feeling tired and ill, but awake enough to get up, have a cuppa and go to deliver the concrete slab Saturday papers.
I have just got back from that.

The weather is warm and sunny with a fairly calm sea but enough breeze for the regatta.
I could have been out on a boat today if I had accepted an offer, but no way while I am ill, have you ever been on a boat when you are ill? It is awful.

I have gardens to assess and I would have gone to a summer show but I am so tired.

I will assess gardens, rest, and watch boats later.

The news headlines are of a gunman killing a load of people on a beach and laughing. How awful.
And the news that Janner is to face prosecution. Many years too late and at the cost of a few lives. I am proud of the survivors who have fought for this. Well done.

My Mum fought for Janner to face justice, Decades ago, and Vaz and the police and others blocked her efforts and made our lives hell. There was a whitewash by Chief Inspector Foster, which my Mum had really hoped would come to something. It must have been awful for her.
I know how she felt now, because I have the Diocese of Winchester.

Last night I was feeling so ill that I texted my adoptive mum and asked for chikky soop, she said they were at Glastonbury so I said some magical tobacco would do just as well :)

Sunshine and Saturdays and beaches to you all.
There is no bacon and eggs today, I must remember how to go shopping.

Midnight Friday-Saturday

Good midnight,

Why the hell are you awake when there is so much sleeping to be done? Doesn't your bed look sumptuous and soft?
I am awake because I was so ill I fell asleep at 8pm and woke at 11pm because 8pm is too early to sleep, I woke from very vivid dreams about being caught up in a local shooting after the police had tried and failed to trace the gunman, who they knew was on the loose, it was far too vivid and the actual locations in the dream are real local area with all the genuine stuff, the sequences and conversations and everything were like real life, I have no idea why I dreamed it but it was scary, I do not know why I get these dreams at all, I woke up feeling very ill and have tried to take meds but this illness is not responding, the sore throat is back with a vengeance and my temperature won't drop, not even with nice cool flannels and paracetamol.

I appear to have a lot of stats from the UK, at this time of night, what is wrong with you? Stop reading my boring blogs and go and get me something that will soothe this illness.

Friday, 26 June 2015

Friday evening

Good evening,

This horrible virus tiredness, it is so much worse than the rather nice tiredness that comes from working hard, and I would rather be out working than on an enforced rest at home, but I think it is a good thing that today's work was cancelled, I feel awful.

I was Ok to wake early and get the papers out, and my throat is less raw as I have been using saline, but as the day has gone on I have got more tired and ill, I have been doing paperwork, and I did sleep for an hour earlier, but I don't feel better.

I have also been reading a book called 'When Daddy comes Home'.By Toni Maguire, it reminded me horribly of what the Church of England have done to me, and it caused mild flashbacks, but it brought healing and comfort as well, because sometimes hearing other survivors' stories of the way they are treated for being abused reminds me I am not alone, and all the denials from the Church of England doesn't change a thing.

The cat has spent the afternoon contemplatively trying out dozens of sitting and sprawling positions on the patio, he even tried my knees when I sat on the step, it is rare to see him not washing or sleeping, just trying out different ways of sitting and sprawling.

I appear to have freaked the Church of England, presumably because I told them there was an interview on my blog. They appear to have had to pay a lot to prevent me being interviewed or heard. At least I know how to freak them.

I had a brief bike ride along the bay, and it clouded over on the hills and a few raindrops fell, so I bought some milk and came home, just watching the usual programmes now, feeling absolutely blergh.
I have work tomorrow.

Jersey have the Island Games, and I don't mean the games in the States Chamber on Tuesday, those go on week after week.

A seventh> interview with HG, I think she lost count...

1. Do you like having your photograph taken? Why? Or why not?
No, not really, but on the other hand I don't mind it terribly. My adoptive mum and friends seem to like photos and things, and my Mum once took one of my photo collages to a fellowship meeting to show it off to everyone there, photos of my life, there aren't that many but I guess photos are a good way of remembering good times.

2. Do you like taking photographs? What are your favourite scenes?

Yes, I am a keen photographer, I like to do landscapes, seascapes, wildlife and animals, trains and events.
3. Photographs: do you like scenes or photos of people most, or both? Why?

Scenes, I am too autistic to look at pictures of people much, and I like to see different scenes and landscapes, however, I am quite happy to get photos from my penpals of themselves so I know what they look like.
4. Do you paint or draw? What do you paint or draw?

I don't really paint or draw, for the last 15 years or so, people have tried to get me to paint and draw because a common perception is that it is 'therapeutic' I am not artistic in the painting and drawing way and I get bored and fed up with being encouraged to draw and paint. After my unhappy art classes last year, I refuse to paint or draw.
5. Do you write poetry or short prose? Which do you prefer?

I guess what I write would loosely be described as prose, more often described as rubbish, a bit like rappers just simply  describing life situations while some people say that isn't music, I just write about life and feelings and it isn't really poetry, in 2012, my supporters and I described it as un-poetry as I used it  to help draw me out of the darkness and back into life. It is kind of prose.

6.  Do you know any flower names? Latin names or common names? List a few.

Yes, I had to learn all the ruddy Latin names at college. Verbena bonariensis (my favourite), Fraxinus excelsior, Fraxinus badcanonus, (bahaha), Juniperus horizontalis, etc etc.

7. What is your favourite domestic flower?

Verbena bonariensis
8. What is your favourite wild flower?

Bluebell (English not the invading overseas ones)

8. Do you keep flowers or grow flowers? If you don’t but could, would you, and what would you have?

Complex question.We have a lovely garden where I live, but although I do some work in it, I do not actively grow plants, not this year anyway. I am too busy building up a business and preparing for university.
Yes, I would love to have greenhouses and grow plants again, and maybe next year I will.
I would grow fuschias and Pelargoniums if I could. I am a gardener so I work with plants a lot, but just this year, only just back in work, I don't have the time or facilities to grow plants this year.

9.  Have you been swimming this year? Was it cold?
If you mean sea swimming, yes, I swam for the first time this year a few weeks ago and it was cold., and I swam yesterday and it was warm.
I swim in the pool all year round and it is kind of tepid.

Friday morning

Good morning peeps,

Well yesterday I really wasn't well enough for work, I struggled to get up and crawled round my paper round.
When I got home I cancelled everything.

But I am not very good at resting.

So I crawled up to the surgery to drop off another prescription form that is no use to me because I still don't have a certificate and still can't even pick up all the last lot of meds. But I have to go through the motions.

Then I went to the next town to get some work jeans as mine are worn through to holes. The next town is good for shopping.

I came home, should have been resting but I am not very good at resting so I went down to the beach, swam gently in the warm clear sea, and sunbathed. Then I was tired and sick enough to rest when I got home.

Then someone postponed the work I had postponed until today, until Monday, how annoying! 
I have just one garden to go and assess today and two tomorrow when I was hoping to do other things.

I had another bad night, waking up boiling hot and in pain and from nighttmares, so I opened the windows, took meds and had a drink of barley water and re-arranged the bedding before falling asleep again, I was having flashbacks yesterday evening and until I fell asleep, I had more flashbacks.

The sea is flat calm and a bit misty this morning, the sky is a bit gloomy, , I took the blue bike for a canter along the front as we got to the paper shop too early in my enthusiasm to get the heavy Friday round done.
Friday is local paper day, and most of the usual customers have a local paper as well as their usual paper,and then there are extra customers who just have a local paper, so the round is big and heavy.
Anyway, as I am now a bit better than the last few days, I got the round out with no problems, and I got my local paper and have already read it.

Now I have miles of paperwork to do.

Cough meds, throat sprays and everything else just weren't helping, so I am back to using good old saline solutions to clear this cold. And I am a bit better, this is one of those new viruses that mainly consists of a raging sore throat  and chest infection rather than blocked or runny nose, it is not fun. Not that any virus is fun.

It must be breakfast time.

Thursday, 25 June 2015

Thursday morning

Good morning peeps,

Urgh, I don't feel well.

Tuesday night I felt ill and woke during the night needing meds.

I woke on Wednesday feeling tired and ill and dragged myself out on the paper round about 10 minutes late.

I got home and scuttled through my shower and breakfast and other things, then I hurtled out of the house to hitch a lift to work with my friend.
My friend had to stop at the bike shop on the way and so I nipped into the post office and posted a letter and some post cards to my pen friends.
Everyone wants post cards! :) I got a whole bundle of them while I was on holiday so as not to miss anyone out.

I went to work, and despite feeling ill, worked hard in the hot sun, maybe that was a mistake, but all the work I needed to do was in the sun.
After work I got some lunch and lay on the bank of the estuary, enjoying my lunch and the warm summer's day.
I got the offer of two more gardens, so I have three to view and assess this week, and next week is mad because I am working away from home for three or more days as well.

Anyway, my friend came to collect me and we decided I wasn't fit for any more work that day, so we went and had a nice soothing ice cream up on the hill, then she dropped me home so I could park in my bed and do a spot of snoozing.

However, when I got home, HMRC had written to me, and actually, despite being annoying, it was more positive, they just had one more flaming hoop for me to jump through, and I managed to find the bit of paper they wanted and send it by next day delivery before falling into bed and snoozing.

I woke up feeling no better.
I tried to get through my student finance paperwork and messed it up.
I got three books from the chattery shop but I was too ill to do much reading.
the day was so glorious that I felt I should be on the beach, not working, being ill or grocery shopping.

And I had another ill night and could barely crawl out of bed this morning to do the papers.
It was a misty morning with the sun breaking through, the eastern hills hidden in mist but the Great Hill clear and sharp.
I crawled round my round, and decided it is definitely a sick day today, so I have postponed my garden clearance and garden assessment to tomorrow, with every hope that it doesn't rain! :(

Mad week. Next week is more mad.

I will finish my pen letters and postcards today and do odds and ends. But mainly I genuinely need to rest. I feel like jelly, jelly with a sore throat and temperature. I will have to go to the clinic tomorrow evening if I don't start getting better, because people with asthma have to contact the medicals if they have a chest infection for more than 4 days.

I thought there was contract work this weekend but it is Thursday and none has been sent through, never mind, I am busy enough. Two gardens to assess on Saturday and one tomorrow.
So much else on on Saturday.

Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Tuesday evening

Good evening,

What a busy day.

This morning when I got back from delivering papers and directing lost grockles - Grockles shouldn't be allowed out before 7.30 anyway -  I put the washing on as I showered, then put the dishwasher on when the washing was on the line.
Then I went to physio.
I think there is an improvement in my non-working muscles, and the physio said I am fit and strong apart from the dysfunctions, that was so awesome to hear!
I am not completely fit and strong, my lungs are useless, but I am working out working round my disabilities.

Anyway, I came out of physio, and couldn't believe my eyes when I saw my friend's dogs tied up outside, so I sat with the dogs until my friend and his carer came out, and so they were surprised, like I was when I saw the dogs.
My friend lives about 8 miles away, but he was in for another clinic.

Anyway, after a chat with them, I biked to work. My hard work shift, I was a bit worried that the chest infection and sore throat would slow me down but they didn't.

I worked peacefully and then biked back through the beautiful countryside under a sunny sky, I stopped at a garden centre to get some shears for one of my customers, and then stopped at my friend's house on the way, I just needed to make some arrangements with her, but she invited me in for a cuppa and a chat, and then she put me and my bike in the car and gave us a lift home.
Saved from trekking up the hills! :)

At home, I grilled some meat and watched my programmes, already very tired but my day hadn't ended, bin night is housework night, so I did the hoovering, mopping, cleaning and bins, then I tested the new shears on our hedges and trees, they work well and I get paid to garden here, so it was all good, and the neighbour came to chat, I know him because he has the last paper on my paper round, he lives next door and has a beautiful garden.

I am roaring tired now, so tired I will sink through the bed and float off.
I am also suffering headache and sore throat and chest infection, the price of that hard working holiday.
The physio this morning showed me exercises to help straighten my twisted legs a bit and also exercises to loosen the trapezium muscles that cause so much pain. I must now go and practice these, goodnight.

Tuesday morning

Good morning peeps,

I slept through the night and woke up feeling tired after having dreams I can't remember.
I got up and had a cuppa before going to deliver the papers.

I found the papers easier to deliver after the hard work of the week, but having a chest infection and the high pollen count made breathing harder.

The bay was calm in the early morning sun, and a few yachts were moored. I thought it must be nice to have breakfast out there on a boat, I remember things like that from when I used to sail.

I have physiotherapy and then work, and I have to bike to all of that.

I need to arrange an assessment of a new garden that has been offered. It is a big garden apparently, on the high cliffs, hm, that'll be fun, I wonder if it is near my paramedic friend's garden, I would like to say hi to him but I never go up onto the cliff.

I have a bit of time now to shower and to get breakfast and try to sort my working week out as there are a few uncertainties.

The sun is shining and it will be a hot day for cycling around.

Monday, 22 June 2015

Monday Afternoon

Good afternoon,

Home, sweet home! :) Back to putting the bins out, changing light bulbs, waking the cat up and telling him to eat, and clearing up after my scatty housemate.

Well, I worked hard on my working break, and ended up with a massive migraine and a chest infection. It seems I can't win.

Music exam over, I am going to skip a level and go to the next level from that in the Autumn.

I am still recovering from my working holiday, but also getting back into my routine, the migraine means I didn't stay away and travel for a few more days as planned, so I return to paper deliveries in the morning, then physiotherapy, then I have a work shift after that, and the contract work is likely to be on for the weekend, so I am just doing my ledger and work plan for the week.

I have unpacked, done all the holiday washing (all my clothes!) I have got a bit of shopping, I have got back to my prep courses and other paperwork, I have changed lighbulbs and cleaned surfaces and toilets and emptied bins. My poor old cat is so sleepy and old all of a sudden, that I have to wake him up and get him to eat his food. It is not long since he used to wake us up by begging for food, but now he is tired and looks all bedraggled and can hardly jump or climb any more, he has gone downhill fast, he is 14 or 15 years old.

Back to the hamster wheel.
The sun is shining and the sea is blue and green and I am tired but glad to be home. Glad the church didn't take my home away while I was away.

Saturday, 20 June 2015

Friday, 19 June 2015

Friday Morning

Good morning,

Well, we did an 11 hour shift in the freezing wind yesterday.
The wind didn't die down as expected.
Then we had curry and I went to sleep.
I woke at 5.30 as usual and went and had a shower.
My music exam is tomorrow.
How can that be when I am away working?
The exam board transferred my exam to the centre nearest where I am working.
How nice of them.

Thursday, 18 June 2015

Wednesday morning


We finished work at about 11pm after a long hard day's work.
I am in a little pop up tent.
I haven't had many hours sleep as it was about 1am before I got to bed, and not used to sleeping rough any more, then I was up as usual at 5.45, and I have had a long hot shower in the shower block, done my teeth, meds and everything else necessary.
The toilets are a bit trashed.

I am just waiting for the boss to get up and put the generator on so I can have a cuppa!

Internet is intermittent so I don't know when I will next write.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Wednesday morning

Good morning peeps,

Well yesterday I worked a 12 hour shift of hard work, I knew when I agreed to this working holiday that the emphasis was on 'working' and it will certainly show me how capable I am of working longer hours and doing physical work. So far so good, we have got a lot of the hard work done.
We got home at midnight and we had kebabs for supper.
What is a kebab? Mystery.

I woke as normal without any alarms, woke ready to deliver papers but I am on holiday from that, 6am, autowake, when I only got to bed after midnight, but I am  not tired, I am achy. We don't start until midday today so that is good, I can rest. But, we start camping tonight, which is a bit daunting for me.

Yesterday one of the male helpers started being a pest, and despite the diocese of winchester and deanery of Jersey destroying me for reporting the churchwarden when in the church of england, sexual abuse is supposed to be a perk of the job, I spoke up, I did the same as I did with the churchwarden at first, told the guy to stop or I would hit him, but that didn't work, so I told the boss and he put a stop to it. I don't accept sexual abuse or harassment despite the church trying to tell me it was acceptable and that I am the evil one for reporting it.

I am going to do some music revision now. 3 days to the exam.

Tuesday, 16 June 2015

A Sixth Interview with HG

Despite being far from home on holiday, I have more interview questions to answer:

1. Sea or Pool? I know you like swimming, but which do you prefer? The open sea at a beach or an indoor pool? Why?

Sea, although it is difficult to get a regular swim due to the weather. Our local pool is small and gets clogged with old ladies who stand in the lanes and chat during the morning swimming sessions, how annoying. I have just started sea swimming for the year but will still pool swim along with my gym sessions. The good thing about the beach is there is always room, we have miles of sandy beach and it is good to do a quick sunbathe too, I am not a lying on the beach person, nerves and ADHD mean 10 minutes is enough. 
I live a few minutes from the beach, so it is easy to fit in a swim and sunbathe.

  2. Travel – where is the furthest place you have ever travelled to (outside the UK) Have you ever visited Ireland, Scotland, Wales? Where did you go? What was it like?

The furthest place I have travelled is New Zealand, but back then I was unprepared and was with someone who was scornful of my disability and resulting anxiety, so I was under too much stress to fully enjoy it, but it was an interesting experience. 

A note about travel, in the church of england, you get all the wealthy old people who have been everywhere, and because I am disabled and poor, they used to amuse themselves by saying to me 'oh, have you ever been abroad? Where's the furthest you have travelled?' the reply 'New Zealand' tended to shut them up. Haha. 

I have visited Ireland, Scotland and Wales. I absolutely adore Ireland, well who doesn't? I did a train trip across Ireland one time, I lived in Wales and worked on a sheep farm, beautiful mountains but I hated the job, the farmer was a psycho. I like Scotland, the people are friendly and kind like in Ireland and the scenery is lovely too. 

 3. Town or Country – which do you prefer?  Why?

Country, definitely, the peace and quiet and farms, I trained in agriculture and worked on farms, although due to my health, I can't work on farms now. I love open  landscapes, hills and cottage gardens with bird song in the early morning. I do also enjoy towns, I like art and architecture, so towns are a good source of those, I also love museums and local history, call me boring but I find it all fascinating.

 4. Birdsong – can you identify any birds a) by sight b) by song? Which ones.

Yes, I know a number of birds by sight or song, my adoptive parents are bird fanatics and I am learning from them. I know the birds of prey, and some common garden birds. I know a few bird songs, mainly robin and blackbird, of course, the blackbird has such a lovely song during the season.
 5. Summer is coming. Do you like ice cream? Do you have a favourite ice cream?

Yes, I like ice cream, I tend to get my ice cream from a little place run by locals on the seafront, they are nice and they know me, the other place I go for ice cream with my friend in the car is on the viewpoint above the town, there is an ice cream van owned by a local company and they do really good ices, not horrible liquidy stuff, real solid tasty stuff, we sit up there and enjoy the view and eat our ices. And my favourite flavour is rum and raisin. I like solid ice cream, not whipped stuff.

 6. Web Addicted – can you survive without the internet? Or do you feel withdrawal symptoms (I do!). What parts of the internet do you use – web browsing, Facebook, Twitter? What do you tend to look at online?

I am not severely web addicted, I find it a relief not to be online sometimes. I do find the internet very helpful though.In fact the internet is fairly essential for me as I strive to run an efficient business and also prepare for exams and do prep courses for my university degree, things like that. I do a lot of interactive learning online and also communicate with people who are studying languages and interested in the international community. I don't bother with facebook much, I am too autistic for that kind of thing, but twitter is great for human rights activism and news. I also blog, as you know. Life is so full, and the internet is just part of that, I guess I need it for my life but I also like to be doing other things such as music, sport and work.

 7. Egg – do you like eggs? What egg dishes can you cook? Which do you like the most?

Eggs again! I occasionally do fried eggs as part of a healthy fry-up, and boiled eggs for sandwiches, I like eggs but my tummy doesn't, so I don't have many.
 8. Activity – how do you keep fit?

My work is physical, as you know, so that helps, I also bike around, I deliver papers by bike every morning normall (not this week as I am away) I also do swim and gym whenever I can. I can't run as my legs and back and lungs are too shot, but I used to love running and I feel useless now that I can't.
 9. Christianity – what’s most important for you about your faith?

My faith has been so shattered by the events of the last 7 or more years that it is barely there, I don't go to church any more as it distresses me and it seems that the diocese can catch up with me through any church and have me treated like dirt and thrown away. Their attitude while they claim to be Christians and a Christian church is the death blow to my faith, the way they have left me suffering is the last straw.

Tuesday morning

Good morning peeps,

Well I slept well after my day's travelling yesterday (and the day before) and woke automatically without the alarm at about 5.30.
I got up and got tea and toast, it is a rainy day, we start work at about 10am, and I was first to get up, so I am showered, fed and medded.
The strain of the travelling means I am on painkillers, but I am not in agony, so it doesn't matter that I couldn't afford my prescription painkillers before I left home.
I hope the hard work doesn't leave me ill and in pain.

It's such a pity I can't write more about this working holiday, but after the way I was treated when the Korris rubbish was released, I have to be careful not to put my life in danger.

Monday, 15 June 2015

Monday evening

Very tired.
A few lines.
Two days in transit, arrived.
Plenty of food, and so tired,
it is bed time.
Good night.

Sunday, 14 June 2015

Sunday Morning

Good morning,

Well this is it.

I slept well, especially as the cat decided to go out at bed time.
I was worrying a bit in my sleep but not too bad, no nightmares.

I woke at 5.30, and I have had a few cups of tea as I have been doing last minute packing.
My housemate is up, she obviously has an early shift. She has promised to put the bins out on Tuesday (haha, we shall see!).
I just need a shower and then I will go and get the papers out at 7am.
Then when I get back, my friend will be collecting me and taking me and my luggage to the rocket launching site.

I am still quite anxious, being away from home, it is quite scary for someone who was homeless and who has settled.

It is a grey day, a bit humid, and the birds are having a festival in the garden.

Talking of festivals, weekend and monday morning travel will be very crowded and busy, and I am a bit nervous.