Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

Thursday, 26 March 2015

Thursday Evening

Good evening,
Excuse the lack of blog. I have been a bit busy.

Yesterday morning I felt rubbish and I was worried about my day at work, but I headed for work.
Unfortunately the cat decided to puke just as I was going out the door, and he is elderly and he only vomited fluid, so I had to stop and make sure he was OK. Stupid cat, it was bin day and he had probably been checking out the neighbour's bins.

Anyway, I scrambled to work.
And I had a very pleasant day, weeding, pruning, tidying and removing ivy from buildings, it was a fine sunny day.
Then I headed home, tired.

My housemate was hoping I would go to the quiz, I was too tired, but they won without me and I got some chocolate sent home.
I had a shower-bath and felt very tired. Did my music and some writing.

I got an upset stomach, the IBS kind, and forgot where I had put the medicine, because I so rarely get IBS.
I had an early night but was woken by stomach cramps, got up and sorted it out and then slept a peaceful night.

I woke this morning to battering rain and wind, useless for the garden I was due to dig this morning.
So I did admin and paperwork, collected two letters from the post office, and did a quick clothes wash, and eventually headed for the shop for my shift, taking with me a bag of donated stuff from my landlady.

At the shop I swept and washed the stairs and did some stock sorting, the schoolgirl volunteer came in and it was so quiet and everything was done, so I got to finish early, which was useful because it gave me time to go and get a scart lead for the DVD player, and get stuff for tomorrow's lunch and then collect one prescription and drop one off and get the prescription made up at the chemist before coming home.
Working kind of makes it harder to do routine things, so they have to be cleverly fitted in.

Those who have not been following my work progress. I started off working in a charity shop, defiantly regaining some of what the church of england ripped from me and spat on, my volunteer work, and of course at risk of them ripping it off me again. Then I started working on a volunteer gardening team, then moved on to my first job interview in a commercial nursery and being offered a job, that I decided would not work due to the hours and pressure, going self employed had been in the pipeline anyway, and I am now a self-employed gardener and cleaner, I am only working low hours for pay and am still doing more volunteer work than paid work, much as I love it,  and am hampered by not having own transport but I have achieved against the odds.
The diocese remain a threat to my whole life, and there is still no guaruntee that they and their illegal actions won't destroy all this or kill me, in the meantime I can only go on living.
I have been offered another job interview on a grounds team next week though. Paid.

The Simpsons was good today so I will watch the repeat on 4+1 before I start doing surgery on the DVD player.




Wednesday, 25 March 2015

Wednesday morning

Good morning,

Well I had a night of terrible, shocking nightmares, but I woke to a grand sunny morning.
I am tired and aching but I am dressed and ready for work.
My housemate has already left for an early shift, she only works nearby, I work two bus rides away.
She was talking about the quiz, but I am tired and aching before the day starts and she may be too tired after her shift.


Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Tuesday evening

Good evening,

I am tired.

I went to town this morning, did the documents. Shopped for a few essentials and found a heap of bargain photo frames in a charity shop, just what I need for my ongoing photo and heritage project.
I had lunch in town and went to the charity shop.
At the shop I tidied up and sorted stock and made tea, and de-scaled the kettle and did the washing up and cleaned the loo and steamed loads of clothes.

A whole load of clothes in my size were in, and after owning only three pair of jeans, one of which are too short, I now own 8 new pairs of jeans and trousers, to go with my new tops, and I was also given a pair of boots, proper ladies boots, not like my work boots or walking boots, so I am all smart, I have a wardrobe, how posh.
I was also given a few gardening books.

So by the time I left work at 5pm, I was loaded down with stuff, and I had to get some groceries too.
I arrived home heavily laden with things, and at home a letter and a parcel were waiting.

The parcel was a music manuscript for my practice, and the letter was a copy of my Birth Certificate. I have never seen my full Birth Certificate, and it settled a few things, but it was eerie to see that this copy of it was issued on the same day this year that my Birth was registered on all those years ago. There have been a few spooky co-incidences recently.

Anyway. I was tired and didn't want to do my chores.
I watched the Simpsons and had a shower bath as I didn't have time this morning.
Then I put some turkey steaks under the grill and did the bins.
Then I made my packed lunch for tomorrow while I did and ate my supper. One lot of washing up that way.
Then I did my music practice.

Now I have evicted the cat and I am having an early night, too tired.
I would say it has been a productive day.
I want to know more about the debate in Jersey, what was the result on the finance for the COI?

Tuesday morning

Good morning,

I slept reasonably well but woke at 5am from a strange dream about ships.
I went to the loo, opened the window and slept again, I dreamed lovely delicious dreams that the Diocese of WInchester were brought to justice and stopped harming me forever.
I didn't want to wake up of course, but I did, and I sat on the patio with my housemate and the cat as we drank our tea, the cat didn't drink tea, it just licked itself and bit me.
It is a glorious spring day, and I am going into town on business before going to my shift at the shop.

Monday, 23 March 2015

Monday evening

Good evening,

Well I have been feeling quite down.

I have done a lot of music practice and also done some good work this afternoon.
I have had some 5HTP but I guess everyone has down moods at times and you cannot really change that.

The cat is asleep on my bed, all in a ball, but I will have to evict him soon as I want an early night, no point in prolonging a blue day.

Tomorrow I intend to wander into town with some documents and then go to my shift at the charity shop.


Monday morning

Good morning,

Well I had a troubled night, nightmares, sad dreams that JM kept trying to come back into my life and I couldn't let her and I didn't know why, because in my dream I had no memory of the horrors of what has happened, just sadness, and there was a funeral.

I woke at 2am and the cat was making a noise, and I went to the loo, felt sad, and slept again, I was hot and restless and uncomfortable. I need to adjust the pillows and support my head better.

I woke feeling grumpy, the linens look like they were never ironed and the cat doesn't care, he is installed on the bed and he hasn't been ironed either.

I am not doing much this morning, I feel low and achy and generally crap. I have eaten and showered and made the bed and tidied around.

I am working this afternoon.

The DWP sent me another gobbledegook letter.

It is a grey cloudy day, time to say 'Monday! Blah!'.


Sunday, 22 March 2015

Sunday afternoon

Good afternoon,

Well it is a lovely sunny day with a strong cold wind.

I biked along the front this morning, and then went home and cooked dinner. Chops, roast potatos and carrots.
Then I did some music, and sorted out my cupboards in the kitchen.

Then I started the ironing, would you believe it?

I hang things up in the cupboard these days, and some of the hanging things need an iron, and so do the teatowels and my bed linen, which is drying on the line. Any bigots reading this, remember, my day of rest is Saturday.

I have had another bike ride in the sunshine, and I still have ironing and music and writing to do and I will go to church this evening.
I have tomorrow morning off but I have things I want to do, and then I am working in the afternoon.


Sunday Morning

Good morning,

I did so much music practice yesterday and a lot of writing, then I fell into bed and slept.

I dreamed a lot, dreams about devil children and marriage and all sorts of scary stuff.

I woke to a bright and breezy morning, and wandered into a cup of tea.

My housemate came into the kitchen, and she has got the hang of my morning routine, because she said 'we open the patio doors now, don't we?' And she strolled outside with her cup of tea and the cat.

The cat is sulking and avoiding my room because we ambushed him when he was asleep on my bed yesterday, and front-lined him. Front line is flea treatment, those of you who don't know.

So me and my housemate and the cat all on the patio in our pyjamas, we wear deportation pyjamas and we are not overlooked, but it is nice to go out and smell the fresh air and hear the sea and the seagulls first thing.

Anyway, my housemate has gone to see a friend, and I have had bacon and eggs and am now thinking about showering, dressing and biking down to the shore.

I will leave church for this evening, even though it is a typical lent day with the weather and you are supposed to go to church and talk about spring and sunshine and daffodils on these Sunday mornings.
My daffodil bunches in the kitchen are blooming cheerfully and our landlady and her partner appreciated them yesterday :) Flowers are a norty habit of mine.

I am just listening to Magic FM and writing and rejoicing that I have done the housework apart from the bins, so I can get on with writing and music.

It would be nice to think that this paradise would last, but while I live and the Diocese of Winchester exist, they will continue to destroy me, until either they kill me, or they are disbanded.

Saturday, 21 March 2015

Saturday evening

Good evening,

Well. I am worried about the significantly increased stats on the blog, because it means the bloody church are going to harm me. That's a guess based on experience.

Anyway, I have been very tired, with the remains of the migraine today. Mum came over but I was too tired for that to be fun.

Then I did the housework and shopping and looked at the sea.

Then I got home and my landlady and her partner were home, so we all did a load of sorting out and repairing of things. It's really cool cos I have some freezer space at last.
Then I have been doing my music practice like mad.

Then landlady and partner have gone off again and I am watching a good old favourite film 'Airplane!'
Haha, Kramer beating all those religious people up at the airport! :)

The flashbacks are so bad at the moment that it is hard to concentrate.




Saturday morning

Good morning,

I still don't feel quite right.

Yesterday after briefly going to the shop, I did housework and paperwork and music practice.
I also worked on my heritage project.

The day had started very cold and cloudy, but it turned to mild spring sunshine, with smog over the hills and sea.
The tide was low constant waves, and a lot of people were on the beach in the evening.

I was tired and went to sleep early.
I am having a nightmare patch, so nightmares occured and I woke this morning still with migraine after effects but I have got through a whole pack of migraleve so I can't have any more.

I must shower and eat and then go and collect my Mum, she was due to come over yesterday but I was so tired from the migraine.

It is a nice sunny day.



Friday, 20 March 2015

Friday morning

Good morning,

Well I went to bed early and slept, but I woke early too, still having nightmares.

I got up and my housemate was cross with the cat as it had got into her room early in the morning and was 'yelling at her'.
I biked down to the shore, it is such a grey morning, cold with low cloud, the hill is barely visible.

The solar eclipse is supposed to be on, but the cloud is so low that it is very dark anyway, outside it is bitterly cold and the birds are all singing like mad. It is certainly dark and cold. I went outside to look, and the cat came out with me and meowed a lot, because it does meow a lot, noisy little thing. I like the cat. Everyone needs animals really, especially me, I have missed having a pet for years. People in Jersey are boring, they don't love animals, the only people I lived with in Jersey that kept animals, kept dogs, and they kept them, smelly and isolated, in a room apart from the rest of the house, which defeats the object of pets entirely. Poor dogs.
But Jersey is like that. I know almost no-one in Jersey who was not divorced or from a divorced family. Money and greed and the occupation makes the mentality there so awful.
Enough rant, people will be sending me cross messages over that.
I just have to say, I would rather be here. Until the Diocese and their police catch up  with me and trash the life I have built, then I will move back to Jersey.

ON the subject of Jersey, I am really pleased to hear that Jersey's REAL anthem, 'Beautiful Jersey' has been chosen for the Island Games.

Well, it is bitter cold, maybe because of the eclipse, and my housemate has just come home from swimming and declared that it is FREEZING OUT THERE!
It is freezing, I biked along the front and came home and it is so cold! :) The cat is also personally complaining about the weather and asking me to make my bed so he can go to sleep and my housemate wants to play my keyboard, should I charge her?

I haven't even showered yet, I have cancelled today as the migraine is still affecting me, I am still unco-ordinated.

Argh.

Life.

Music practice.






Thursday, 19 March 2015

Thursday evening

Good evening,

Well I am still very ill, even with migraleve and deep freeze. This is the worst migraine I can remember.
I am still having dyspraxia problems as well.

Anyway, today I went for interview, induction and assessment, they offered me a job and put me to work, unfortunately they want me to work full time, and the job was not suitable for my disabilities really. They were nice, and the thought of earning a full time wage and being able to afford haircuts and motorbike and things I want or need was so tempting. But I doubt it would be fair on them or me. So I worked until they let me go for the day. Then, as I had not had a break or food or tea, which would also be a problem if I worked there, I walked to the nearby cafe and sat there with tea and a slice of cake, and I took painkillers.
I had spent some four hours working in the heat with no break, no tea or food or painkillers, and it was now afternoon and work finishes just in time to miss the bus, and buses are one per hour, so if I worked there I would be trying to get there for 7am, before the buses start, and not finishing until 3pm, with a half hour break at some point, and then having to wait an hour for the bus, and then the bus ride home. That would make it a long day, and really it is not a suitable environment for me, nice as they are there.

So, just as I made the decision not to keep the third volunteer role, I have decided not to take the job I was given today. I would rather keep doing my odds and ends and building up the jobbing gardening and things.
So it was a disappointing day, but when I got home there was an email with some rather good news, hopefully.
Anyway, migraleve and deep freeze but still a migraine and clumsiness, I nearly set my supper on fire, but at least I ate supper.
The cat decided to sleep on my back while I was reading a book. 
I have done some washing and I am going to bed soon.


Thursday morning

Good morning,

Well I had a bad night, the migraine is the worst I have had for as long as I can remember. I went to bed early and was asleep straight away.
I woke from dreadful Church of England nightmares at 1am, I was in a lot of pain and felt sick. I got up and took painkillers but that seemed to make no difference, so I went to the kitchen and got a glass of squash. The cat was ever so worried about this, and he climbed out of his basket and meowed at me.

I tried to go back to bed but I was in too much pain, and the last thing I wanted to do was start an important day like today with not enoough sleep and a migraine.

Thankfully I drifted into sleep eventually, and woke, still with a migraine, a bit later than usual at 7am.

There is no sign of the cat and I have been standing on the patio with a cuppa. It is a cold windy day, and I am trying to decide if I should bike down to the sea, or if the impact would be too much.


Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Wednesday Evening

Good evening peeps.

Well this morning I was up just before six as usual but dyspraxia continued and I somehow never got my shower and hurried out of the house late, wearing the wrong trousers (Gromit!).
However, I got to work in time, early. But I had to tell the boss I felt ill, just in case.
The boss was busy and never checked up on me as I plodded on with my work, I took painkillers at breaktime, but by afternoon I was feeling very ill, and I realised it was a full-blown migraine, hence the clumsiness recently.
I don't get many migraines, and sometimes they start and fade out within hours, but this one was a cracker, it wasn't responding to painkillers or acupressure.
An hour before I was due to finish, I was numb down one side, spooky considering how I wrote about that in the Bob and Julie statement yesterday, and the statement seems to have triggered this migraine, but I was also stumbling, disorientated and sure I was going to vomit.
Which isn't good when you are working alone with tools and interacting with the nosey general public.

So I searched for the boss but he was nowhere to be found. So I found his second-in-command, and he was very sympathetic because he gets migraines occasionally, so he looked for the boss and couldn't find him, and got me to write a note and told me I could call it a day for the day, so I did that.
I don't like letting people down and I am a bit anxious as I have a very important few days coming up, and I will not be back on that team on Friday as usual anyway and I do not want to still be ill tomorrow as a lot is happening tomorrow.
But, it has been a lovely sunny day today, which did help.
And when I finished work, I headed home past the charity shop, popped in to tell them my world, and the boss told me to go and get Migraleve from the chemist, so I did, and although the migraine is still there in the background, I do feel a lot better.

I came home, intending to simply have a warm bath, do my music and watch a film, but things never go as planned.
I have not done any of those things, however I have checked the gas meter, with the cat's considerable help, haha, and I have had fish and chips so I didn't have to cook, fish and chips is not ideal for migraine but I felt norty, so I walked along the shore eating it and watching the waves break and the lights on the fishing rods.
My asthma is also bad today, so it is possible I have had an allergic reaction to something. My migraines typically have a specific trigger, as does my asthma.

I have sorted my clothes drawers and wardrobe today, and I am pleased with that.
My housemate was talking about tonight's quiz, but I am certainly not going quizzing.
I nearly collided with a wall on the way home from the sea, just because the migraine makes me unsteady, no alcohol involved.

Wish me luck with the next few days.




Wednesday Morning

Good morning,

Another misty foggy day.

Well I woke feeling ill, I felt ill last night and fell into bed early.
I wake early now, without a problem, which is good as I have work of one sort or another these days and most involves one or two bus rides. But the clocks change soon, screwing everything up.
I do my packed lunch for the next day each evening while I do my supper.

Yesterday I woke early and from 6am to 12 midday, I finished writing the dreadful story of November 2013 on the other blog. Writing it made me ill and although I didn't go to work yesterday morning, I did go to the shop for the afternoon and I told them I was feeling tired, they were fine with that, it was a quiet day anyway.

Early yesterday morning I took a break from writing and went to post letters and biked along the front, the sea was calm and hidden in mist, and it stayed that way all day.
I stopped to get some milk on the way, but when I got home, I dropped the milk and a hole developed, so the milk is in a jug. Then I tripped over the cat, who makes it his aim to be tripped over regularly anyway. But I decided it was a dyspraxic day, so when I got to the shop, I told the boss not to get me to dust the china cabinet! :)

I got home and did the bins and housework, did my supper and lunch, but I felt ill, and I still do, basically I shouldn't go to pub quizzes while I am rebuilding my work life, even though I was only out until 11pm and only drank coke, it was too much for my system, and then finishing the statement about Bob and Julie, which I started last week, had to stop because of trauma, and spent literally  6 hours on yesterday, it has left me ill during a very busy and important week.

http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/what-really-happened-in-october-and.html#.VQh_rdKsXIc

I will tell you more about how important this week is tomorrow evening.
But Mum wants to come over on Friday, which means I am asking for a day off when I get to work today. Friday will be my only day off EVER and I am not at the shop tomorrow, shh!


Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Tuesday morning

Good morning,

It is a cold grey early morning.
I have work today. Mainly in the shop.

Last night I went to pub quiz.
I am always hit and miss with pub quizzes, but it was OK.
I was lucky to be sitting with two nice musicians, who are going to find me some music and material to study,
The quiz was at a pub on the waterfront, and I could see and hear the sea.

I shouldn't stay out late when I am working, and the quiz finished at about 11, and the rain had stopped.


I came home and went to sleep.

Monday, 16 March 2015

'I will not boast in anything
no Yorkshire, no channel islands no switzerland'

Funny how the grunge from the Church of England always check out my blog when they are abroad. Sad cases.

Monday evening

Good evening,

Well I went to the stables in the pouring rain, and we pottered around with horsys on leads.
Then I went and met someone and off we set on a top secret mission.

Then I came home this afternoon, and have been busy with top secret stuff as the rain falls outside.
The cat has been sleeping peacefully on my bed, and I have also done my music practice.

I am supposed to be going out to a pub quiz this evening. mixed feelings.
I like quizzes but am not in a mood to be out late.


Monday morning

Good morning peeps,

Last night I was busy reading and writing, but I was so tired that I evicted the cat from my bed (meoow!) and climbed into bed and slept like I was dead.
I woke with nightmares and flashbacks this morning.
So I did a cuppa, did a full english breakfast, had a shower, and here I am.

It is raining and I am due to head for the stables.
Maybe more news later peeps.

Sunday, 15 March 2015

Sunday evening

Good evening,

Well I went to welfare, then had a few bus rides, and now I am back doing my paperwork.

I really want to know something. Who are the two very frequent Jersey readers of this blog, both on Safari browsers, one finds my blog by typing 'life after the diocese blog' in each time, and the other arrives direct. Who are you?
I know who the vistas and internet explorers and firefox are. And I guess who the english stalkerstat on safari is, I am curious about these two Jersey ones

Tomorrow I have horsys in the morning, and then other things in the afternoon.

Sunday Afternoon

Good afternoon,

Well I had a nice bike ride along the front this morning but the wind was bitingly cold and upset my asthma and ears,
Then I continued my general paperwork and blogwork and went through the music syllabus before I went to church.

Church was lovely, it always is on Mothering Sunday, although sadly the weather refused to be typical Mothering Sunday weather and remained grey and cold.

The service was refreshing and the children talked to us about mothers and handed out sweets to all the ladies, that the children had made in Sunday school, and they were lovely, peppermint creams and fudge :) in little yellow boxes.

Then I came home and got on with my dinner, I has pre-prepared the potatos and carrots, so I par-boiled the potatoes before putting them on to roast, put the chicken in when it was time, and then put the carrots on to boil, then I made gravy from oxo and carrot water and chicken juice and gravy thickener. It was a good meal, and although I had made healthy eton mess from crushed merangue nests with fat free yogurt and fresh grapes, I was so full from lunch that dessert will wait for later.
I am relaxing with my new books.

I may well go to welfare later.


Thursday and Friday, retrospect

Thursday's post got deleted and I hardly wrote on Friday.
So, as I have done Saturday and Sunday posts together, I will redo Thursday and write Friday in as well.

I woke early on Thursday, the cat was meowing, so I shut him in the kitchen and tried to wake up.
So the cat trashed the bin and I found him smirking, surrounded by teabags and egg shell, so I picked him up and told him off and he smirked some more and my housemate came in and giggled at us.

Then I went and did my shopping, a massive shop because I have not done a big shop for a long time and have run out of everything.
I went to the supermarket, and I also got socks, plain cotton and also work socks, and some knickers, because my underwear and sock were getting a  bit close to crisis.
And of course I got flowers, spray carnations for my room as usual, the last ones lasted so well. And I got a few bunches of local daffodils for the kitchen. (no, I didn't pick them, I only nick lavender heads from the supermarket borders).

Then, shopping done, I had to go and see someone, and that is not something I am telling you yet, not time for the announcement yet, harhar.

Then I had my lunch in town, jacket potato, then it was time for the chattery shop, and I took charge as the volunteer there went and while I waited for the manager to arrive, then we sorted stock and put stock out, and tidied up, and then I minded the shop briefly and I chose some DVDs and books from new stock and agreed a price,l which is what we do. There were lots of chick flicks in, and basically I could take any amount and just watch them as long as the plot is simple and not too adult, but I chose three, and some gardening books, because to be honest, I do need to re-learn some of my trade, my memory still has gaps in.

Then when the schoolgirl volunteer came in, she and I did a lot of clothes steaming.

And someone brought me in two huge Thorntons chocolate eggs with chocolates and all, I know I said that this next Great Walk is chocolate powered but wow! The walk has already raised £200 pledge plus what the government chips in.

I got home and found I had been sent a wad of grocery vouchers, which really helps me :) Nice early Birthday presents.

Thursday night was foggy and Friday was due rain, but no rain fell on Friday. I got up early, packed lunch already made the night before, and showered and dressed.
I got to work early and made an enthusiastic start, the supervisor was away until lunch, so I just plodded on with my work.
I got so many enthusiastic comments that I couldn't believe it. Everyone was kind and complimentary, but I guess unpaid labour that does the job properly has gotta be a good thing, and this is for a very good cause, and I am very happy to do it. It is all good, and if I start doing pictures for my portfolio, that will help.
The old me never thought to do things like that, so I have only a few photos of my old work, but things are different now.

Anyway, I was absolutely exhausted and aching at the end of the day, I popped into the charity shop on the way home, and I was supposed to go to the cinema with the gang, but with more work on Saturday and already so tired, I cancelled and one of the others had to cancel, so no-one throttled me, but it means I have not yet seen the Second Best Marigold Hotel.
I did the washing, housework and a packed lunch for Saturday, and went to bed.



Sunday Morning, Mothering Sunday

Good morning,

Well I have no work but I am so used to waking up early. And I slept well.
Today is a grey day, not the springtime and daffodils sort of Mother's Day yet, but there's time.

I have to catch up the last few days as the blog went a bit awry, starting with Thursday's busy day being deleted.

Today I thankfully have a quiet day, church and welfare maybe.
I have had a busy week.

I did put a card in the post for my adoptive mum, and she has tried to phone me but signal has been hit and miss.

Yesterday I got up early and went to have a try at my new volunteer job. I decided very quickly that it wasn't for me. It is a lovely place but very different in style and atmosphere from my other two volunteer jobs.
They simply dumped me with another new volunteer who didn't want to work with me, and didn't want to work, and left us for an hour at a time doing different jobsm no real introduction or induction, and the staff didn't speak to the volunteers at all at break time, so I said no, it wasn't for me, and they said maybe I should give it another go another time. Genuinely, so I said OK.
I guess that is all fine, I liked the work but the atmosphere was wrong for me. That is all part of learning and development. I mean, I stayed in the Church of England, which was wrong for me, for so many years and let them trash me, before I learned what was right for me.
And, I already work two volunteer roles and am building up to work in paid roles, so I probably shouldn't take on more volunteer work, but it was such an opportunity, you know, I can't afford to go to places like that on a visit, so being able to work there was such a grand thing to do. My other volunteer roles are a bit more altruistic.

So, I finished work at lunchtime yesterday, and went into town from there.

I got another autocorrect book because I have worn the other two out by reading them at bed time to stave off the nighmares, although I think my housemate may wonder what is going on when I am giggling helplessly at that time of the night!
I got two other books, which is good, because I have had a real drought on reading books, the other books I have mentioned are mainly gardening books but I needed books I could relax and read. I also got a music CD. I should not be spending money, as I never have any, but I can't live without anything all the time, can I?

Anyway, I came home and cleaned the house, bathrooms, bins, floors, kitchen.
Then I cooked a Korma and listened to Magic FM and did a lot of reading.

Then it was bed time, and I giggled at Autocorrect, and fell asleep exhausted.
I dreamed on and on about the Diocese of Winchester and trying to defend myself against their report, I was in Jersey a lot in my dreams and I was also at home but they had diverted the Jersey ferry to stop where I live, how annoyingly handy.
Those who wonder, I do not have any wish to go to Jersey, every time I see it, I see an island ruined by money and greed, and even when I was there, I was saddened by it... ' Daddy, what will happen when there are no flowers or grass left?'

Hm, time to wake my poor Mother up? :) I think I will have a bike ride and do some blogging and music theory practice. I need to get my exam forms in.


Saturday, 14 March 2015

Saturday Morning

Good morning,

I have a half day at work, this is for the third volunteer job that I took on.

I will catch up the blogs later.

It is cloudy with a red sunrise.

Friday, 13 March 2015

Friday evening

Good evening,
Sorry, I did do a post yesterday but the wireless went wrong and I lost the post.
Very busy, lots happening, just finished work, worked hard, exhausted, not going to the cinema as planned, and I will catch up with the blog later.

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Wednesday Evening

Good evening,

I am on my way home from work, tired, did a good day.

The day started warm and sunny and I got to work early and wide awake.
I had done a huge packed lunch to compensate for thinking earlier in the week that I would have nothing for lunch.
Today I worked edging, weeding and pruning, a lot of honest work, and a lot of members of the public stopped for chat and compliments.

The weather turned grey and drizzly but I finished my day.

I stopped at the charity shop on the way home, and chatted with my peeps.

Tomorrow is a busy day.


Tuesday, 10 March 2015

Tuesday evening

Good evening,

I almost forgot to update.
This morning I biked along the bay, it is grockle season already.
I went to the gym but the pool was closed so no swim.

Then I did the housework.

Then I went to the shop, it was very quiet, I did cleaning and sorting stock and doing the till.

Then I came home and did a roast dinner and tomorrows packed lunch.
I work as a gardener tomorrow.

Then I have been sorting paperwork and my room, then I had a bath and did my prayers and music theory while I soaked in the bath.

Bed time, I will blog tomorrow evening as it is a long day.

Tuesday morning

Good morning,

I slept well apart from nightmares about Bob Hill, Julie Wallman and thier friend , Jane Fisher.
Bob Hill#'s blatant betrayal of me still haunts me, he knew very well how badly damaged I was by the diocese of winchester and he simply handed me over to them, by deceit. He has never apologized, and instead of terminating his involvement, tried to continue without my consent, while refusing to communicate with me, and doing as he consistently did, making his own decisions about my life and case.

It is a sunny day here, and I will do paperwork before going to work at the shop later.



Monday, 9 March 2015

Monday Evening

Good evening,

I went to the bank and then went to the volunteer interview, so I now have three volunteer jobs. I need to leave space for paid work, unlikely as it is, because I cannot go on living in poverty that makes me open to abuse and harm, the welfare benefit system is not fit for purpose at all.

Anyway, I came home, did risotto and have been half-watching television while writing.

It is misty with low cloud, and yet it is also windy, and cold. I went out on my bike along the front and the hills are obliterated by low cloud and mist.

Monday morning

Good morning,

I am awake and it is a grey morning.

I have a day of doing paperwork and necessary stuff, but this afternoon I will go and see someone about a bit more volunteer work, last lot, as I need to make space for the non-existent paid work.

The cat was howling this morning, because my housemate feeds it when she shouldn't so it expects food, and it doesn't expect food from me so I had a quiet week once it realised that.
The cat gets fed from it's feeder, automatically, so it doesn't need feeding.


Sunday, 8 March 2015

Sunday evening

Good evening,

Please excuse the lack of blog. Long day yesterday, tired and ill today, and Mum came over briefly as well.

Well I had a lovely day yesterday, but it was a long day, I was off early and to London, a long journey, then London itself takes a lot of energy. I am fond of London but it is full of people.
And then some of the tube was out because of engineering, which made things worse.

I had a lovely time with my friends and said goodbye in the early evening, a bit later than intended, but I had to make the trip worthwhile.
Then I had the long journey home, which passed peacefully, but I started feeling sick at some point and have been feeling sick since, probably because my muscles clenched tight with the travel and stress on top of Friday's hard day.

It was midnight before I got to bed. And I woke this morning feeling like I had been in a tumble dryer, but I must have slept deeply as I was tired, I certainly felt like I had slept, even if I was aching all over.

I did my chores and ate and drank and showered, then I went to meet Mum, just for a while, and that was good, we found a new cafe that I intend to visit again, very nice.

Then I came home, no church today, too tired and achy and overwhelmed, I did intend to go out on my bike but never even did that.

I did do my laundry and I am just rushing it on and off the radiators so my housemate can do her washing when she gets in, she is home, but she has gone to her friend's house, where she always spends a lot of time, always has, they are very close.

The cat is keeping me company, he likes my new chair but I need to sit on it, so he is asleep on the bed.




Saturday, 7 March 2015

Saturday morning

Good morning,

No rest for the wicket-keeper, I am up, I am cooking sausages for breakfast and for a snack on the way, as I have very little money. But seeing as someone has bought my ticket, I will go, and be grateful, nice to have a change of scene, helps my mind, because the traumatic stress of the Jersey deanery and BBC stunts still lingers.

I am not going as early as usual, because our local transport is affected by engineering works at the moment, so I leave here in about 20 minutes, showered dressed and fed.

It is cold and clear and a red sunrise is lighting up the bay, the cat has had it's milk and is sitting on the decking, watching for mice.


Friday, 6 March 2015

Friday evening

Good evening,

This is a very tired blogger.

I managed to crawl out of bed and get myself to work this morning.

My first full day on a gardening team, albeit voluntary, went well, it was a lovely sunny day and I was simply left to work, and I got a lot done, but because I am not work-fit, it has taken a strain on my body, especially my legs, and I am tired enough to sleep now.
Unfortunately after two days of harsh exercise and my first day of work, I get no rest because people have arranged for me to go to London tomorrow and then Mum is coming over again on Sunday.

I am so tired that I hope I can get up, and walk tomorrow, I feel like I do when I do the Great Walks, the next one of which is in exactly a month's time :) Easter Monday it starts. My legs are seizing up.

Anyway, I have to be up early to head for London in the morning.

First Day at Work:

The alarm goes off and I am too tired,
then the cat hears the alarm,
so eventually I fall out of bed,
and throw a saucer of milk at the cat,

I am trying to make a packed lunch 
and do breakfast 
and wash the dishes
and dress and comb

The cat decides it likes the duvet so much
that it drags it off the bed with it's claws
when I pick it up
and the bed was so neatly made

At the last minute I lace my new boots
and hope for the best
and then hurry out the door
miss the bus, get the next one

I worry all the way to work
nothing to worry about,
fill in paperwork, get shown round
and then I go back to my work, at last.